its been a long time since ive been on xanga. ..and its been an awfully long time since i wrote a weblog entry; those were the days.  so i suppose i should update whoever still reads xanga. life's been. indescribable. now about to enter my junior year in the fall, ive come to meet a whole bunch of new people who i now cant live without. they've always been there for me, and hopefully i've done the same for them. i can't describle how much they mean to me. two amazing years of high school. i cant ask for anything more blessing. and of course, with all the good things that've happened, there are always the so called "negative" things. ive really stressed about school and colleges and stuff. everything's now up to me. and i dont know if im able to grasp that still. ive been freaking out about sats and stuff, i feel like im going to forget to live my life.
i seem to have issues with studying recently, and it's really been bothering me. at this rate, i'll never get into a college that i really want to go to. some of my friends already know which colleges they're going to apply to, and what subject they're going to major in. and im just sitting here not knowing what to do. confused. puzzled. if there's one thing that i wish i had, it would be ambition. i dont feel ambitious about anything i do these days, and it's really upseting me. in my head, i really think about becoming an amazing person in the future and changing lives. but i never act on it. and i dont know how to fix that. i want to be the one who changes lives. i want it so badly. but i cant act on it. and i suppose that's only a minor problem. anyways. ive been rambling enough already. i hope everyone had an amazing 4th of july!
&& maybe ill start updating/writing weblongs on this old xanga more frequently afterall :) and of course. as always, i end with song lyrics. and if you left it up to me
everyday would be a holiday from real
we'd waste our weeks beneath the sun
we'd fry our brains and write
"its so much fun out here" with love;
jessica. | 
